Though most may have heard the term, there still tends to be knowledge gaps about its prevalence, causes, consequences, and so on. This can make for an extremely overwhelming and challenging process.
For starters, premature birth is much more common than you might think. The US has had a historically high rate of preterm births, receiving a D+ on the March of Dimes 2024 report card.
As per the Mayo Clinic, a premature birth is referred to a situation where a baby is born too early. This means they get delivered before the usual 37th-week mark. Some babies can be born as early as 28 weeks.
If your partner’s doctor has raised concerns about a preterm birth, there is hope. You can be their rock during this tough time and get through this together. In this article, we will discuss three tips to support them through such a life-altering experience.
Be Present at the NICU
Premature babies are typically kept in a special unit called the neonatal intensive care unit or NICU. This is to monitor them closely and provide critical care for issues like low birth weight, breathing difficulties, or infections.
Initially, it can all seem too much, but start by composing yourself. No matter how challenging, remind yourself that this will also pass. While your baby is in the NICU, you can be present and extend care in the following ways –
- Kangaroo care or skin-to-skin contact – Doctors may ask you to bond with your baby through direct skin-to-skin contact. You will have to hold your baby against your bare chest to let them get familiar with your warmth and hold.
- Voice interactions – During kangaroo care, interact with your baby by singing lullabies or simply telling them how much you love them. This will help them familiarize themselves with your voice.
- Gentle stimulation and touch – As you interact with your baby, initiate tactile stimulation. Gently touch or stroke their face, hands, or feet.
- Communication with the healthcare team – Grab every opportunity you can to learn more about premature birth and care. What better resource than the horse’s mouth? Ask the healthcare team any questions, share your concerns, and educate yourself.
Provide Emotional Support
According to the Cleveland Clinic, women who undergo a preterm birth experience are more likely to have anxiety. Even the mere news can take a massive toll on their emotional well-being. This is precisely where you must be your partner’s anchor and resting place.
Let them know that it’s all going to be alright with time. Even after labor and delivery, there may be some tough decisions to make. For instance, some couples discover the horror of the mother being unable to produce sufficient milk.
In other cases, there may be latching issues that delay the mother’s ability to breastfeed her infant. One’s train of thought shifts onto the track of commercial baby formulas. Due to this added stress, your partner is vulnerable to making decisions based on their emotions.
You must understand the implications before making yours. Though commercial baby formulas are widely used, they are not harmless, undoubtedly not for preterm babies. TorHoerman Law shares that baby formulas like Enfamil and Similac have been accused of causing necrotizing enterocolitis (NEC) among premature infants.
NEC is a gastrointestinal condition where the baby’s intestinal wall lining dies off. As a result, bacteria may enter their bloodstream and cause a deadly infection. Many infants have died, and parents of the injured have filed Similac and Enfamil lawsuit claims.
For babies in general and premature or low birth weight infants in particular, donor milk is a better option. Just ensure the milk bank you choose gathers, stores, and distributes the milk hygienically. We have just given one example.
There will come myriads of situations where you will need to make such crucial decisions. This is one solid way to provide emotional support to your partner as they rely on you to make informed decisions on behalf of everyone.
Moreover, actively listen to your partner’s concerns and validate their feelings. They may go through a complex mix of sadness, guilt, fear, anger, and confusion.
At times, they may say things only to vent out some of these difficult emotions. Let them and assure them that you both will get through this together for your child.
Encourage Self-Care
Your partner’s stay at the hospital after a premature birth experience will depend on several factors. These may include your baby’s condition, hospital rules, and the birth experience itself.
Once they are back, it is natural to feel anxious and be hyper-focused on the baby all the time. Some mothers tend to deal with negative or guilt-ridden feelings that make them neglect self-care. They may even withdraw from social circles and support groups.
It would be a critical time for you to step in. Gently nudge your partner to prioritize their health and comfort. Remind them that this is crucial for the healthy development of your baby. Here are some ways to ensure they engage in self-care –
- Allow them enough rest and volunteer to look after the baby in the meantime. If required, get a paternity leave to help out with household chores. This type of paid leave is gaining momentum to help dads, especially those with preterm babies.
- Prepare some healthy recipes to help maintain your partner’s health. With a hormonally sensitive body, stress quickly takes a toll on the woman. Your partner may worry themselves sick thinking about the baby. Perhaps it’s time to put on the ‘home cook’ cap!
- If you feel too stressed out yourself, ask for help without hesitation. Your friends and family would be glad to support you with childcare, food preparation, and other errands.
- Maintain a journal, if possible, to record your partner and baby’s progress.
- If you sense that your partner is in great psychological distress, consider taking them for psychotherapy sessions. It is perfectly normal for women to feel psychological distress postpartum, especially with a preterm birth experience.
In the end, no two birth experiences are the same, even preterm ones. Your partner may face unique challenges, but the three tips we have discussed can help.
There are many aspects of such an experience that are out of one’s control. However, these tips will help you take control of what you can and be the rock your family needs.