For Zambian parents living abroad, raising children can involve more than providing a good education, a safe home and opportunities for the future. It can also mean answering a difficult question: how do you help your children feel at home in a country where they are growing up while ensuring they remain connected to the country their family came from?
For many families in the Zambian Diaspora, this balancing act begins at home. Parents may speak of Zambia as home, maintain relationships with relatives in Lusaka, Choma, Ndola or their ancestral villages, and celebrate traditions they grew up with. Their children, however, may experience Zambia mainly through family visits, telephone calls, photographs, stories and occasional cultural celebrations.
These children can grow up with two cultural influences: the society in which they live every day and the Zambian heritage their parents want to pass on.
It is not always an easy balance. But it can become a source of identity, confidence and opportunity when families approach it deliberately.
Growing up between two worlds
A child born or raised in the United Kingdom, United States, Canada, Australia, South Africa or another country may naturally adopt the language, customs and social expectations of that environment.
At school, the child learns alongside classmates whose experiences may be different from those of their parents. At home, family members may expect respect for elders, participation in family gatherings, knowledge of Zambian customs and an understanding of the values that shaped their upbringing.
Sometimes these expectations complement one another. At other times, they can create tension.
A parent may consider a particular family responsibility an essential expression of respect, while a child sees it differently because of the social environment in which they have grown up. A parent may expect a child to understand a Zambian language, yet the child may be more comfortable speaking English or the dominant language of their country of residence.
Neither situation necessarily means the child has rejected their heritage. It may simply reflect the reality of growing up in a different environment.
For parents, the challenge is to make Zambian identity meaningful rather than something children experience only as a list of rules or expectations.
Language: more than words
Language is one of the most direct connections between children and their heritage.
For Zambian families, this may mean Bemba, Nyanja, Tonga, Lozi, Kaonde, Lunda, Luvale, English or another language spoken within the family. The language chosen depends on the family’s background and the traditions they wish to maintain.
When children understand a family language, they may find it easier to communicate with grandparents, relatives and other members of the extended family. They can also gain a deeper appreciation of expressions, humour, stories and cultural meanings that do not always translate easily into another language.
But maintaining a language can be difficult when children spend most of their day in an environment where it is rarely spoken.
Parents can make the process more natural by using the language during everyday conversations, telling family stories, singing songs, arranging regular calls with relatives and encouraging children to learn without embarrassing them when they make mistakes.
The goal does not have to be perfect fluency. Even a child who begins by understanding simple phrases can gradually develop a stronger connection through regular practice.
Keeping Zambia present in everyday family life
Cultural identity is often strengthened through ordinary experiences rather than formal lessons.
Preparing traditional foods together, explaining the meaning of family names, sharing stories about childhood in Zambia and celebrating important family occasions can help children understand where their family comes from.
Parents can also introduce children to Zambia’s geographical and cultural diversity. The country is home to many communities, languages and traditions. A family’s heritage may be rooted in one particular community, but children can also learn to appreciate the wider national story.
Music, literature, local films, news and age-appropriate educational material can help make Zambia more than a distant place mentioned during family conversations.
For families who can afford it, visits to Zambia can provide especially valuable experiences. Meeting relatives, spending time in the community and seeing places their parents describe can turn an abstract connection into something more personal.
However, travel is not the only way to build that connection. Families who cannot visit regularly can still maintain meaningful relationships through video calls, shared activities and regular communication.
What matters is consistency.
The role of grandparents and extended family
In many Zambian families, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins play an important role in a child’s upbringing. For families abroad, maintaining these relationships can require additional effort.
Distance may mean that children do not experience the spontaneous family interactions that their parents remember from growing up in Zambia. Relatives may become familiar faces on a phone screen rather than people the children see regularly.
Parents can help bridge this distance by arranging regular conversations and allowing children to build relationships with relatives beyond occasional greetings during holidays.
They can explain family histories, introduce children to relatives individually and encourage them to ask questions about their background.
This also gives relatives in Zambia an opportunity to understand the lives and experiences of children growing up abroad.
The relationship should not be one-sided. Children need opportunities to share their own interests, school experiences and everyday lives, rather than feeling that every conversation is a test of how much Zambian culture they know.
When cultural expectations clash
One of the more difficult aspects of raising children abroad is navigating differences in social expectations.
Parents may have grown up in environments where family obligations, respect for elders and collective responsibility were strongly emphasised. Their children may grow up in societies that place greater emphasis on personal choice, independence and individual boundaries.
These are broad tendencies, not fixed rules. Families differ, and cultures are never completely uniform. Nevertheless, differences in expectations can create misunderstandings.
A parent may interpret a child’s reluctance to follow a particular tradition as disrespect. The child may feel that their perspective is not being heard.
The solution is not necessarily to abandon tradition or insist that every practice must remain unchanged. It is to create room for explanation and discussion.
Parents can explain why a custom matters to them, what values it represents and how it connects to their family history. Children should also have room to ask questions and express how they experience those expectations.
Some traditions may be maintained as they are. Others may be adapted to suit the family’s circumstances.
A child who understands the meaning behind a tradition is more likely to develop a genuine relationship with it than one who participates only out of fear of disappointing a parent.
Helping children navigate identity and belonging
As children grow older, questions about identity may become more complex.
Some may strongly identify as Zambian. Others may identify primarily with the country where they were born or raised. Many will feel that both identities are part of who they are.
A second-generation Zambian may hold a foreign passport, speak with the accent of their country of residence and have limited experience of living in Zambia. Yet they may still feel connected to the country through their parents, family relationships, food, music and shared history.
That connection does not have to look exactly like their parents’ experience.
Parents should be careful not to make children feel that they must choose between being fully accepted in their country of residence and being connected to their Zambian heritage.
They can encourage children to value both experiences, recognise the opportunities and challenges associated with each, and understand that identity can develop over time.
For children who encounter questions or stereotypes about their background, a positive and realistic understanding of their family history can also help them respond with confidence.
What happens when children eventually visit or return to Zambia?
For some families, a visit to Zambia becomes a moment of discovery. Children may be excited to meet relatives and explore the country. Others may initially feel unfamiliar with local customs, transport, food, social expectations or the pace of daily life.
Parents should not assume that a child with Zambian parents will automatically feel comfortable in every Zambian setting.
A child who has grown up abroad may need time to adjust, just as any visitor would. They may have questions about local conditions or find some experiences different from what they expected.
These moments can be opportunities for learning rather than occasions for criticism.
For families considering a permanent return to Zambia, the transition may require even more preparation. Schooling, friendships, career opportunities, lifestyle adjustments and the child’s own wishes all deserve attention.
Returning to Zambia may strengthen family connections, but it is not a guaranteed solution to every question of identity or belonging.
The best outcomes are more likely when children are involved in the discussion and given time to understand what the move would mean for them.
Could the Diaspora’s cultural connection benefit Zambia?
The relationship between second-generation Zambians and their parents’ country of origin has implications beyond individual families.
Children who develop a meaningful connection with Zambia may later choose to visit, study, work, invest, establish businesses or participate in professional and cultural exchanges.
Some may become interested in Zambia’s tourism, creative industries, technology, agriculture or development initiatives. Others may simply maintain family relationships and share their knowledge of Zambia with friends and colleagues abroad.
None of these outcomes is automatic. A cultural connection does not guarantee that a young person will return, invest or pursue a career in Zambia.
Nevertheless, families, schools, cultural organisations and relevant institutions can help create opportunities for young people to learn about the country and engage with it on their own terms.
Diaspora engagement should therefore include more than adults who have already established careers abroad. It can also involve younger generations who are still developing their understanding of Zambia and their place in its future.
Cultural exchanges, youth programmes, educational visits, mentorship initiatives and opportunities to collaborate with young people in Zambia could help make that connection more practical.
The aim should not be to make every child return home permanently. It should be to ensure that Zambia remains a place they can understand, relate to and engage with if they choose to do so.
Building an identity that can accommodate both worlds
Raising children abroad does not require parents to choose between the opportunities available in their country of residence and the cultural heritage they want to preserve.
It requires intentional effort, open communication and a willingness to recognise that children will interpret their heritage through their own experiences.
Language, family stories, relationships with relatives, cultural celebrations and visits to Zambia can all help. So can allowing children to ask difficult questions, form their own views and develop a connection that is authentic to them.
For Zambia, the wider question is how to make the country relevant to young people whose lives may be rooted thousands of kilometres away.
Their relationship with Zambia will not necessarily be identical to that of their parents. But it can still be meaningful.
For families in the Diaspora, keeping Zambia alive in the next generation is not simply about remembering where they came from. It is about giving their children the knowledge, relationships and freedom to decide how that heritage will shape who they become.
The next generation may grow up abroad, but the connection to Zambia can still be part of their story.
Zambia & Diaspora: Your Story, Your Voice, Your Zambia
At Zambian Eye, our Zambia & Diaspora page is dedicated to connecting Zambia with its people wherever they are in the world. We explore the experiences, achievements, challenges and aspirations of Zambians abroad, while examining how their relationships, knowledge, investments and ideas can continue to contribute to the country’s development.
But this page is about more than reporting the news. It is a space for conversations about identity, family, opportunity, belonging and the meaning of home. Whether you left Zambia recently, have lived abroad for decades, are raising children overseas, or are part of a new generation discovering your Zambian roots, your experience matters.
We invite you to participate. Share your story, tell us about the challenges you have faced, celebrate your achievements, suggest topics we should explore, or explain what you would like to see change in the relationship between Zambia and its Diaspora. We also welcome perspectives from families, professionals, entrepreneurs, students and communities in Zambia who share these connections.
Your contribution could help another Zambian find an opportunity, avoid a challenge, reconnect with home or see a familiar issue from a different perspective.
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