Life in Zambia: The good old days…

By Mwaba Mutale

Practically I live alone but I have three decorders in my house. Two DSTV and the one I got this morning A Star Times one. Wana try out their content too. This made me remember and reflect on how we grew up, with just one channel ZNBC, it started at 17:00 after people had worked and pupils knocked off. Then TBN came, you the child became the remote of your parents. You were always sent to change to put the videocon or president or Philips black and white tv on UHF so you can watch Benny Hinn in his white suits or Danny Pule or Paul Crouch on that annoying Tele thone where they asked for money and sowing a seed for one week continuous on Praise the Lord..

With the exception of Sunday when we watched “Kwacha good morning Zambia” at 07:00. Back then Zambians were more productive, coz TV started at 17:00. First they were those fima gray and while straight lines, then a ka long ntuuuuu sound…17 hours the drums beat, national anthem and then Caristo Chitamfya that man with a long neck and small head with big eyes would read the program line up. Then followed by either nkudu nkudu nkudu hey hey hey, it’s fat Albert, or The littles or Atom Ant or CBS story Break or Shiela ilya inkeche yale ponona no size naka mini skirt or seseme street with that birds that wore leggins like most chicks today or my favourite, Duck takes with that duck that was rich like HH ati uncle Scrooge.

After that you would have news in local languages with that dark natural lady with strange names Fridah Mukuka who became Mukuka Phiri followed by Omondi Musonda A.K.A Chiswapako. Lastly with a Tonga guy Who had the same tone “magani muchitonga na Nolis Shakulipa..

After that we watched either Lumen 2000 that Catholic program or Lima time with that guy Mpundu Mwape something or that SDA program which has been declaring the last days from the 90, would always teach either about revelations or the book of Daniels about either the a horn or a bronze statue or what John saw in the last days and the song would play “Jesus is coming again”… on Thursdays we used to have that boy who looks like Cozmo Mumba that film ati the Boy from Andromeda.

19:00 Sharp we used to watch the MMD news. Doreen Mukanzo, Francis Ndovi, Kenneth Maduma or Ben Kangwa were on hand to cheat the nation about how Good FTJ was. Usually followed by a Report or Ronald Penza or Patrick Kafumukache or Vernon Mwanga or Micheal Sata Minister without Portfolio or Vera Chiluba giving salaula through Hope Foundation with her funny English and lastly sport news. On Mondays after news was Sounds Arcades with Franklin Tembo Junior seated on an old stool followed. Back then Zambians didn’t have laptops and had not learnt how to pirate music so sounds was a big shop. Right now they just sell headphones and TV’S and a few C.D.S. to rich Zambians and old white people looking for Dolly Parton or Kenny Rodgers..

After the news, kitwe studios with Gorette Mapulanga or Lackson Ntani or that guy with red eyes who looked like he smoked weed Dominic Chimanika would be on stand by to always show one guy, Ali Simwinga or his henchman kitwe council spokesman Francis Wasamunu…

After kitwe studios is done, Egoli place of gold with bena Papa G entertained us, or generations or on Fridays No one but you with abena Max and Antonio fighting over that cute tonga chick Rakeo… MacGyver was a not to miss no nonsense guy who had nine lives like Brian Hapunda..

Kuma 22 kwaleba news brief or and then news in parliament with honorable Nabulyato.

After that, it’s either Shaka Zulu or Night Ryder with Micheal Night, or on Saturdays we would watch the same recycled Saturday Movies….

And that was life in Zambia, simple yet sweet… oh I miss the good old days, where Nevers Mumba was still a real pastor with his Zambia shall be served, where porno was not so common as it is (right now everybody, I mean everybody include church Bishops have watched porn over a phone. I dare you to dispute me if you’ve never accessed mobile porn)
anyway life goes on bantu bandi, life goes on…..