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I love you: Terms and conditions apply (Part 8)

Filed under: Advise Corner,Latest News |


Mwaba with Julia

Mwaba with Julia

Mwaba Mutale continues narrating his story…


“This is bullshit”!!

I thought to myself as I got in the front seat of the bus going to Makeni….Yaba, kwanshi nachisa mulomo wabdi??? Emungulu beba uyu wine! Why do I even keep Following this ka little girl? Is it because she is white??? Yaba….


Well just as I was still scolding myself, and being disappointed with myself, I looked behind the bus, and my eyes almost popped out of my socket, guess who I see???? Ka shetani akakashika, seated in the back seat of the bus smiling at me like a PF cadre at a rally in a PF strong hold.


I got out of the bus out of impulse and started to walk towards city market..she got out too with her tuma hips and started following me..”Hey stop, why are you being so irrational”, she shouted…”it’s not like I insulted you, did I? I just said I would want to have my money back”!


Then shit got crazy, one of the kaponyaz heard her say “I need my money back” and jumped to a conclusion. Now imagine weed mixed with incomplete information, this excited nwanwazi just started shouting on top of his voice, “bakamba, mupeleni buga money yakwe”! Before I could know it, there were two to three eagle eagles shouting, “mupeleni money yakwe, ngateifyo naifwe tule lyamo”…


Now this was way out of hand! I was being mobbed and luckily a cab showed up. I quickly jumped on the cab, “pay forward mudala wandi” I told the driver “bigge, makeni, step on it”…..And that’s how I was whisked away from the kaponyaz and a nagging white crazed girl….


As we went away, my eyes became red and teary in the back seat of the cab as I sat there thinking how I had sunk so low and kissed the pits of hell. A deep feeling of sadness overcame me. “How did I get to this point? How, honestly??”


And I sat there stirring at the roof of the taxi, the cab driver kept looking on his rear view mirror, I could see he wanted to ask if everything is ok but kept minding his business and drove forward towards makeni along kafue road. Well the deep feelings of disappointment and dissatisfaction at my life creeped into my soul…the sorrow was too much, a tear slowly rolled down my cheek as my heart broke to pieces…


Just before we could reach, I told the taxi driver, “please drop me right here”. As I reached to get the money out my pocket to pay, he then said, “no sir, I won’t charge you on this ride, we don’t just rescue women who are having their clothes torn off, even guys deserve help too, I won’t ask what happened back there, but you don’t seem like a bad man or a crook. Sir I hope you feel better”


And that was the beginning of an Epic friendship, as I write Shadrick (the then Taxi driver and now a Pastor) is reading this and must be shaking his head and laughing. Shadrick is now married with two kids and stays in Chilenje near RDF/lazymens area with his kind hearted man. Even now in my bachelor nkungulume single days when I feel I’ve drunk too much Jameson like A’Lungu, I go to him for strength and comfort, he is really a very gentle soul and a real gentleman. Shadrick became a pastor after surviving a killing. His friend was killed by robbers. Apparently the killers first approached him for a lift, but when out of impulse he refused to go with them, his other friend on the taxi rank said let me take you…next thing he turned up dead on the news. Shadrick became convinced God had spared his life and from then till now, Pastor Shadrick runs a small congregation supported by his madam….I followed him in town and said thank you for whisking me away on that day and till now we have remained the closest of friends..


Ok back to the story…..


I dropped off and begun to walk slowly back towards the seminary, my head was all cloudy and I couldn’t think straight…I was scolding myself for allowing things to get to that far..


Just as I walked, a certain white Toyota Corolla came and packed right in front of me by the left side of the tarmac. Guess who gets off??? Yeah you guessed  right, Julia!!!!!


Yaba, abwela pushi uyu????


But it seems this girl had cast a spell on me…Just there and  then I felt weak in my legs. Like a criminal who has seen the C.5. I couldn’t run, I almost chocked myself from my own Saliva!!


After the taxi driver drove away, she carefully approached me and stood right in front of me….Now it was a real stand-off, words couldn’t explain the tense emotions at that moment, we just stood there for a minute, doing nothing…but bantu bandi you know these women are crooks, they know just how to make a man forget about everything that happened and pretend like ‘nothing happened’…


Her next moves where that of a real qualified crook, she just lay her head on my shoulder and begun to cry…guys I tell you a woman tears are just as powerful as her nakedness, they can make a man do anything for her, in fact tears is blackmail, Bakashana, bu crook ubo. Seriously!!!


I just found myself nde talalika ba Julia and busy saying “ashhhhii baby, it’s ok, it’s fine, ok ok chapwa”


With her red eyes kwati muntu apepele ibange, she lifted her head and reached straight for my lips, pwaaahhhhh chi kiss muli ine…GUYS I swear the feeling was magical, I swear I was ready to go to hell and lick the devils balls for that feeling, I was ready to trade in my priesthood for that feeling, that of a sincere ‘make up’ kiss..


Eyes closed, imilomo sha black locked onto utwa white tuma lips, iye mwebantu njikateni nalapena ine..


After the three to five minutes kiss, I felt a sincere feeling and knew I loved this girl for real, this feeling was beyond colour or anything. Equally I now knew she was sincere and there was no pretence or fakeness in her. She was as real as they come….


We walked together, Hand in hand as I escorted her to her place, she looked at me and said “did you think I would give up on you easily?” Well I never said a word. I just smiled like a cool guy kwati niba Jason Kabanana and we kept walking… we reached her place, she gave me a hug and a little kiss on my forehead and entered her gate…


I walked back home with hands in my pocket, avoiding to think lest I provoke some emotions that would stir a moral war inside me.


But all wasn’t over, that evening as I was putting on the religious uniform getting ready to go for prayers, my conscious begun to trouble me, my spirit begun to ask a lot of questions, “was it fair what I was doing to myself? I wasn’t married, but I had vowed, I had taken a sacred oath, I was cheating and lying to myself, to the people, and to God in the heavens. But again being with Julia felt so comforting, she was crazy, but inside of all that craziness was a sincere person, underneath all that craziness was a gentle sweet soft and tender sweetheart. But again, how do I just throw away five years of my sacrifice of sweat and tears?? Coz I can assure you priesthood training is anything but easy…


That evening, Prayer finished, we went for news then supper, but I was quiet and withdrawn. This stuff had seriously affected me. That night as I sat in my room, I asked God for answers, in the sincerity of questioning I found myself crying to God, I cried half the night…..


Should I end this bloody relationship and soldier on with my priesthood or take a chance on Julia??? Well I thought about my poor mother and how I would break her heart if I quit, I thought about my father and how on my ordination day he would be happy. I imagined myself saying “The Lord be with you” in the Priesthood gown and the congregation responding “and also with you”….


Frankly speaking those were the worst days of my life, there is nothing as terrible as a troubled conscious. Till today I feel having moral conflicts inside me, that feeling along can send you to an early grave.


But my experience is, we as humans become used to sin, soon the sense of guilt slowly started fading and I begun to live a life like a frog, fitting in both water and land. With Julia we started going out for dates and slowly the sense of remorse ended and I could attend the prayers without my conscious troubling me….


And life was back to normal, I was now a hardened hardcore cheat and criminal with a fake double life


This went on for about a good 6 months or so. Then a new criminal appeared on the Scene, a ka Brown light skinned South African/Zimbabwean called Sibongile appeared on the scene….fya pena nomba ifintu…


Apa manje ifintu ni Sibo!!!!


In Part 9, follow closely and find out how Sibongile and Julia almost killed each other after a heavy exchange of insults and blows over the “Man of God”…


In Part 9 it’s ba Mwaba bacha….it’s the Man of God gone wild and crazy!!!!!!


Stay tuned and shake your heads as more drama unfolds in your favourite series, I LOVE YOU: TERMS AND CONDITIONS APPLY


The real drama has just begun, up until now you haven’t read nothing yet……..


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