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7 things people don’t tell you about marriage

Filed under: Advise Corner |

Getting married is a very crucial part of anyone’s life. It changes your life, for the good or bad. Married out of love, or arranged by family, both situations put you in the long run.

With this one person, that you have to spend your entire life with. And more often than people usually admit, it is not as easy as it seems to people who are not yet married. And there is a lot that people won’t tell you about marriages.

1. There is no right or wrong way

Marriages don’t come with user manuals, and what most people don’t understand is marriage has no right way to be done, nor is there a wrong way.

There are right and wrong things, sure, but how you make it work depends upon your own understanding. What one works well for one couple, may not do so well for another, and that is completely normal.

is no way, implies that either of them is guilty. You need to work out your own way of things, a routine and understanding of your own to make your marriage work rather than implementing things from others.

2. Marriage is not a happily ever after

In contrast to what our fairytales have always told us, marriage is not a perfect happy ending. It is rather a beginning of another book, one that’s a fairytale, tragedy, thriller, and comedy all in one.

Life after marriage is not hearts, ponies and rainbows. There are days when you dance in joy and days you want to pull your hair out in frustration. It is an array of emotions, a roller coaster that is set on a never-ending loop. There are ups and downs, slow days and crazy days, and all of it is absolutely normal.

3. Understanding comes with time

A marriage doesn’t come with a signed agreement of understanding and communication. It develops over the years.

Misunderstandings and arguments in the early years of marriages are very common. To live with someone, and to understand them, their thought processes, their actions, and manner of speech all take time.

These things need to be given time and can’t be expected to develop overnight. However, once the two people have formed and understanding, there will undoubtedly be very few things that would hinder it.

4. Times will change, so will you

Our lives are constantly reshaping us, bit by bit, such that we are no longer the people we once used to be. And this continues after a marriage.

You will find yourself, and your spouse, change, not just once, but time and again. Constantly growing and moulding into personalities you have always meant to be.

And you will learn to accept and appreciate all the phases and forms you two grow into. So over time, you’ll find yourself married to the completely different person, and that is okay.

5. Having children will be a major turning point

Having children changes things, and that does not go only for the daily routines.

It can drastically change habits, lifestyle and in most cases, helps the couple develop a higher level of responsibility and understanding.

While having children can definitely strengthen a bond, it should not be used as a means of resolving issues or igniting a dying spark.

Children should come only when there is full assurance that they can be nurtured, loved and cared for the right way.

6. You’ll be under the same roof, yet not together

Though you two live under the same roof, there will be times when you are so caught up in the daily tasks that you will find as little as a few minutes to really talk to each other.

But that doesn’t mean that the spark between you two is dying.

You need to find and make time for each other, every now and then, but it does not have to be every day. Even utilizing the little time that you get at the end of the day can make all the difference.

7. The success of marriage lies in the calm moments

Marriage is a roller coaster of all sorts of emotions. It throws you into all sorts of good and bad situations.

But none of those decides how successful your marriage is. What truly determines your bond is how well you last through all of them and stick together in the calm and quiet days.

Days where a stressful day at work is followed by a cup of love and a touch of concern, that is what truly defines how well your marriage has lasted.


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