4 dating habits we should stop (and what to do instead)

Filed under: Advise Corner |
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I had this guy leave me a voicemail at work, so I called him at home, and then he emailed me to my BlackBerry, and so I texted to his cell, and now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. It’s exhausting. Mary, He’s Just Not That Into You

Let’s face it — the rules of dating are complex. Throw technology into the mix, and singles these days have an uphill battle to fight when it comes to communication and dating. Avoid the clichés and try these simple tips to improve the connection with your love interest.

Instead of the ‘Good Morning’ text, try…

an anecdote about your day. Personally, I find the ‘Good Morning’ text at the beginning of a relationship to be intimidating — even more so when it is a daily occurrence. Try sharing a funny story about your morning or something you saw that reminded you of them. This is a great way to spark a conversation and you get bonus points for making him or her giggle while at work. The ‘Good Morning’ text — although endearing — is overplayed and lacks imagination. Adding a little personality to your good morning greeting will illustrate your charm and sense of humor.

Instead of asking them what they want to do, try…

asking them what they are into. As a girl, I’ve planned my own dates plenty of times. I’m not afraid to ask my date what he’s into in order to coordinate an evening that both of us will enjoy. If you are the one asking someone out on a date, try to avoid the question, “Where do you want to go?” Instead, ask about their interests — music, food, wine, sports, etc. You may learn something new about your date and uncover something you both have in common.

Instead of drawn-out text conversations, try…

calling them! I’ll admit it — I’m a phone-a-phobe myself. Having a phone conversation with someone you just started dating can be absolutely petrifying! However, when it comes to verbal communication, 40% of that is impacted by vocal components (tone, inflection, etc.). If you only communicate with your love interest via text, you are losing out on the important role that vocal components play in communication.

Instead of ignoring someone you’re just not that into, try…

being up front and honest with them. I am guilty of ignoring calls and messages from someone I went on a date with once I realized that we didn’t have a connection. I have also had my messages ignored by someone who I was really into. I would be lying if I said it wasn’t a blow to the ego. Along the way, I have learned to lay my cards out on the table if things just don’t seem to click. Generally speaking, the other person will be grateful for the honesty and your conscience will thank you for avoiding the added guilt. Not to mention, you won’t have to worry about the awkwardness that ensues the next time the two of you run into each other in a public place.

 

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