Life, what a journey

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….My wife was ungrateful

Heavy Traffic on one of the roads in Lusaka

Heavy Traffic on one of the roads in Lusaka

I met Thandiwe Zulu in 2005 during a United Church Of Zambia church conference at St Paul’s church in Kabwata.
She was one of the participants from Chipata. A church friend introduced me to her and that’s how we became friends and later we got married in 2006 after I paid K4000 lobola. We had a traditional wedding.
About 3-month after we got married, I asked Thandiwe to come up with a business proposal.I wanted to empower her.I was against the idea of her just staying at home without doing anything.
Thandiwe told me she wanted to do business of buying women clothes from South African for resell here.
I was then working as an accountant at a private school in Lusaka.
I got a loan and I gave her the capital and that’s how she started travelling to south Africa.
Within a short period of time,her business grew,she would travel to south Africa twice a month.She then stopped dealing in women clothes and started supplying Electronic appliances and groceries to Indians the entire Lusaka.
She started making a lot of money.My salary was peanuts to her.Then suddenly I noticed that she was becoming too excited with her new found fume.She suddenly became disrespectful.She used to tell me off in front of my friends.She stopped doing house chores and doing my laundry.
At first when she started her business, she would go on her business trips for a week but now she started going for a month and some times even for 6-weeks and she would threaten divorce whenever I questioned her as to why she had taken long to come back from her business trip.
Things got worse when I stopped work.The owner of the school where I was working died and his children failed to run the school, so the school was shut.
Thandiwe and I had to move from the school house to NIPA flats. Thandiwe paid rentals for the new flat.
She became so unruly.She told” me she wasn’t ready to feed a grown up man.” She started spending nights out.She would come back the next day looking fresh.
I continued to stay with her because I did not have any place to go to.Then I started hearing rumors, that she was cheating on me with a Nigerian national.When I asked her about the rumours, she confessed that it was true and that she no longer wanted me in her life.She told me I was not man enough as I was a broke man who depended on women for survival.
I was shocked.I felt like hitting her hard but I managed to control my temper.
I left our house and went to Sikanze police camp to watch a soccer match involving Nhwazi vs Konkola Blades.
I was still hurt inside.I could not understand her behavior after all I did for her.
When I got home after the match, I found my things at the doorstep of our house and the door was locked.It was embarrassing. Neighbours came out of their houses to see what was going on.I could hear people making fun of the whole situation.
I just got my things and went to my Uncle’s place in Lilanda. I walked from NIPA to Lilanda.
When I reached Lilanda I explained everything to my uncle and the next day my uncle summoned Thandiwe and her relatives.
Surprisingly Thandiwe and her relatives came to the meeting with K4000 lobola I had paid.We were told that the marriage was over.
I begged Thandiwe to rescind her decision.I begged her to stay with me but all in vain.I loved Thandiwe so much, She was the first woman I dated and subsequently married.
I was heartbroken.I cried like a small baby but it’s like she had already made up her mind.
I only stayed with my uncle in Lilanda for a week.He was a council retiree and he was looking after more than 7 orphans and dependents and his house was small.
I managed to find a room for k150 in Chibolya. I started applying for jobs but the response was not favourable. My neighbour Amos was a bus driver so, one day he asked me to be his bus conductor for a day as his conductor was not feeling ok that day.I accepted his offer and that’s how I became a conductor and sometimes i used to work as a luggage loader at intercity bus terminus.I started making a bit of money and eventually I forgot about Thandiwe.
Two-years passed without hearing from her.Then one day in 2008, we met at intercity bus terminus when she was coming from south Africa.She came out of the bus together with a light skinned guy.She was looking very attractive and happy.I could tell the guy she was with was her boyfriend.They looked beautiful together.
I then approached them and offered to carry their luggage.well that was my Job. Thandiwe ignored me, I could tell that she did not want her man to know about us.I could tell that my presence made her feel uncomfortable.She was now high class.I was not comfortable either. I was dirty and tidy and I had a lot of beards.
she did not greet or say a word to me.There was a red Jaguar waiting for them just near Juldan motor ways offices at intercity.Her man instructed me to take the luggage to the parked car.After this was done, they jumped in the car and speed off.
I felt bad that day.I still loved Thandiwe. I could not understand why she betrayed me.I continued working as a bus conductor and as a luggage boy.
One day in 2010, while transporting passengers from Chelstone to Town I was invited to church by one of the passengers.It happened that It was my birthday and at night when we were about to knock off the driver and I offered the passengers a free ride.The passengers were happy and a woman called Lucy invited me to her church at CHRIST EMBASSY at YMCA in chilumbulu road.
I did not want to disappoint her so I went to her church the next morning.I was welcomed at church and that’s how I joined the Christ Embassy Church.I continued going to church and after a month, there was an announcement in church for all those willing to join the Zambia Police Service.We were told to see one of the senior elders.After the church service Lucy and i went to see the church elder.He told us to give him both our academic and professional documents.
Lucy had his number, so that same week we gave him our documents.Lucy and I became best friends and through her help I moved to Kabwata where she helped me rent an inside bedroom.I stopped being a bus conductor and concentrated on my church work.
About a month after I applied to join the Police service, a break through happened in my life.The names were published in the newspapers and Lucy and i were selected to go for trainings at Lilayi Police Training College.
We went for trainings for a year and after the pass out I was posted to Force headquarters while Lucy went to work at Central police.
I married Lucy a year after our pass out.I owe her my life.I started raising up fast in ranks because of my trade.I had a diploma in Zica.
When Sata became president, I was pomoted and sent to work in foreign mission in Russia where I was for two years.
When President Lungu become president, I was recalled and promoted to a senior security position.
Lucy and I are still together and we have 2 kids together.She has been so supportive.
I have decided to share my story because last week during the preparation of the inauguration ceremony ,there were a group of prisoners who were cleaning the surrounding at heroes stadium. Thandiwe was one of the prisoners.I recognized her and went to greet her.She was puzzled and confused when she saw me.I was dressed in a suit.She did not understand why Police men and Police women were saluting at me.I went straight to where she was cleaning and said hi and left.I don’t know what landed her in prison but whatever it is, that’s her own baby to nurse.

Read Thandiwe’s response by clicking here…..

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35 Responses to Life, what a journey

  1. Pingback: Life, what a journey - Latest Africa News, Breaking News, Hot and Daily News

  2. Kindly go and visit thandiwe at the prisons. She will now talk to you. If there is a way to help her please help. Don’t remind her of any of those mistakes she did in past.

    mungwala
    September 15, 2016 at 9:15 am
    Reply

    • I’d say leave the bitch alone to rot in prison. You are married now, dont take an interest in her situation! Munda wa kale…………

      Lififi
      September 23, 2016 at 9:32 am
      Reply

  3. To God be the glory am seriously touched with thsis story,there is alot of teachings n u r hero.

    BERNAR
    September 15, 2016 at 9:30 am
    Reply

  4. so sad story, well she was not meant for you brother just forget about her go on with your life and lucy God bleess you.

    chomba mulenga
    September 15, 2016 at 9:35 am
    Reply

  5. Yes i thinnk mungwala is right for the sake of the love you had for her it pays alot,pliz do this,the bible says we should forgive seventy times seventy meaning always,God promoted you to realise how could help others including your enemies.may GOD be with you.

    BERNAR
    September 15, 2016 at 9:37 am
    Reply

  6. Most Zambian women are Gold Diggers.Men be careful.

    Muntu Bulyo
    September 15, 2016 at 10:18 am
    Reply

    • NOT EVERYONE IS LIKE YOUR GRANDMOTHERS SISTER OR MOTHER!
      There are a lot of respectable women who are bread winners out there!

      Lady Boss
      September 15, 2016 at 3:49 pm
      Reply

      • no most woman in Zambia are Gold Diggers, my story is more fun than this one.

        my ex told me she only wanted a child coz i and my family were too poor.

        but today she calling day and night……………………….

        steve
        September 16, 2016 at 5:12 pm
        Reply

  7. That is great my brother forgive her and be friends,may our beloved God be with always.

    kabompo boy
    September 15, 2016 at 11:06 am
    Reply

  8. PLIZ GO AND VISIT HER WITH YO BELOVED WIFE SHE WILL HV TIME TO TALK 2U.ITS A GUD LESSON TO OTHERS.STUPID WOMAN THATS HW GOD BEATS.

    KANTOOLO WARD
    September 15, 2016 at 2:08 pm
    Reply

  9. I ve been there sir…most of these women of ours are wicked.Just forgive her and help her.Its life.The heart that forgives is always at peace…The fact that she caused so much pain to you and that she is now languishing in Jail,paved a way to be where you are…Forgive sir…

    Musonda
    September 15, 2016 at 2:13 pm
    Reply

  10. My brother leave & forget about that pagan cum prisoner just carry on your life with your God given Lucy. Your story is touching and very educative .

    Hon. Ntankula
    September 15, 2016 at 2:24 pm
    Reply

  11. God’s time is the best. life is too short, like a drop in an ocean. no short cuts, each day live as if it were your day on earth. sorry for thandiwe!!!

    Sichoomba
    September 15, 2016 at 3:39 pm
    Reply

  12. S H I T Happens! Thandiwe probably became a prostitutes in Hillbrow where most Zambian business go for prostitution!!

    UCZ= Useless Churches Of Zambia
    September 15, 2016 at 3:40 pm
    Reply

  13. S H I T Happens! Thandiwe probably became a prostitutes in Hillbrow where most Zambian MARRIED WOMEN go for prostitution!!

    UCZ= Useless Churches Of Zambia
    September 15, 2016 at 3:41 pm
    Reply

  14. Life is a circle,looking at what she did to you,only God knows were is her husband? i think on this one lucy is the final to say anything.

    dundumwezi
    September 15, 2016 at 3:51 pm
    Reply

  15. i have learnt something from this story . humbleness,patience,perseverance, hard work and love. help her this is the only way you can revenge you can give her

    alex mwembo
    September 15, 2016 at 4:15 pm
    Reply

  16. U r really a narrator. u r a blessing to many pipo bro.Now listen, where u r nw is the direction of yo destiny. u r actually going beyond.
    Wat u went thru with that woman ws terrain of yo journey. it ws not meant to keep u off trail bt to lead u to find Christ as yo companion.
    Thandiwe is n should never b yo enemy bro. she is the device that ws used to bridge the gap between u n yo salvation. if there is one human being u owe most its her. she led u to Jesus, wat r u going to do for her to be saved too? are u going to remind her of hw difficult it ws for u to reach there wen u were on her shoulders! I guess no. come down a little while n see hw she is striving to get there too.
    The person who ws meant to b yo wife brother man is Lucy. share the testimony with her n find ways n means of helping n continue loving yo sister, Thandiwe for the sake of u family. don’t pick a grudge with her in view of revenging wat she did to u, its an abomination. vengeance is for God n not u.
    Yo story sound so real n touching. I praise God for giving u the heart of endurance. u overcame so many temptation which u did not succumb despite appearing to loose wat u owned.
    May u continue to find favour from God as she also watches u thru. remain affected to her n start praying for until until she also find peace in her life.
    God bless u n yo well wishers, thnx.

    Gatman
    September 15, 2016 at 4:18 pm
    Reply

  17. Forgive her plz ad have time 2 visit her its a touching story I fill like its me.the bible says I shall rise the poor from the dust

    Richard
    September 15, 2016 at 5:36 pm
    Reply

    • pliz visit her with your wife not alone, Lucy is the only woman for you bro Thandiwe is just like any other sister around. Dont make any mistake.
      your story is like my story only god knows.

      steve
      September 16, 2016 at 5:18 pm
      Reply

  18. Indeed God makes a way were the is no way,my brother forget about all the wrongs thandiwe did to you and pay a visit to her together with Lucy. your story sounds so real.

    Chris Kabamba
    September 15, 2016 at 6:30 pm
    Reply

  19. Even though she mistreated you, don’t celebrate her misfortune. The last sentence sounds like you are celebrating. Tables can still turn in just a flash of a second.

    Advisor
    September 16, 2016 at 12:23 am
    Reply

    • Some of us have gone through worse ungratefullness than that, but still don’t hold vengeful feelings

      Advisor
      September 16, 2016 at 12:26 am
      Reply

  20. Pingback: Thandiwe Zulu speaks out | Zambian Eye

  21. Pingback: Thandiwe Zulu responds! | Zambian Eye

  22. Officer Sir, your story is very educative and touching indeed.
    Have you ever thought of doing business with your story?
    How about selling your script to Nolihood, Bolihood or Holihood? This story can be converted into a movie intitled, “MY THANDIWE” and it can sell like no mans business and write it in form of a novel.
    Thats free advice bro!

    Giant Killer
    September 16, 2016 at 2:30 pm
    Reply

    • I agree

      Hunter Shilesa
      October 3, 2016 at 7:10 am
      Reply

  23. BROTHER in christ forgive becouse you too need to be forgiven relise her so that you will be free too by God thus my advice

    felix
    September 17, 2016 at 3:14 pm
    Reply

  24. I am beginning to think this story is a fabrication, a good one.

    Lififi
    September 23, 2016 at 9:33 am
    Reply

  25. just forgive her and move on with you new wife. l like that testimony this girls of now days. let me share a story with me l had girl she was at CBU with a lot of financially l had to help her the moment she finishes school she decided to dump me and currently she working at one of the mines in solwezi and am also working in Ghana as an expatriate and getting good money $15000 per month

    yobo
    September 23, 2016 at 6:09 pm
    Reply

  26. time for everything, God’s time is the best,bro u have been given achance to preach to our enemies as the bible says love ur enemies. Pliz find tym to go and see her teo her about the love of christ pliz so touching God bless u and live longer.

    Moonga
    October 1, 2016 at 1:06 pm
    Reply

  27. Thank God you are a bible scholar who I believe has read Romans 8:28 This is one of those difficult to understand verses. All things not some things, work together for good to them that Love God. Look at the life of Joseph, when there were plans to harm him even to sell him God did not prevent the plotting but he caused all these devises to work for good. When your EX was divorcing you God did not prevent this situation but he caused the divorce to work for your good. Did Joseph just say and left the brothers when they went to Egypt to buy food, He FORGAVE them. Brother forgive and forget and remember all things work together for good. God loves you and the best ending of your story is FORGIVENESS that is the lesson that everyone needs to learn not who you are today or where your ex is. Hard is it may be do it. Finally, 2000 years ago a 33 year old man hang on the cross of Calvary to save a sinner like me you and your ex. You are saved because of this painful death. The point is, while they spat on his face, insulted him and even pieced him, He had them in his mind, us included- what manner of Love. Thanks

    Bashi V
    November 2, 2016 at 10:34 am
    Reply

  28. Bashi V

    imagine today being 26.11.16 I still revisit this awesome and incredible article.

    Nicely organised and arranged.

    chaby
    November 26, 2016 at 8:44 am
    Reply

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