….My wife was ungrateful
I met Thandiwe Zulu in 2005 during a United Church Of Zambia church conference at St Paul’s church in Kabwata.
She was one of the participants from Chipata. A church friend introduced me to her and that’s how we became friends and later we got married in 2006 after I paid K4000 lobola. We had a traditional wedding.
About 3-month after we got married, I asked Thandiwe to come up with a business proposal.I wanted to empower her.I was against the idea of her just staying at home without doing anything.
Thandiwe told me she wanted to do business of buying women clothes from South African for resell here.
I was then working as an accountant at a private school in Lusaka.
I got a loan and I gave her the capital and that’s how she started travelling to south Africa.
Within a short period of time,her business grew,she would travel to south Africa twice a month.She then stopped dealing in women clothes and started supplying Electronic appliances and groceries to Indians the entire Lusaka.
She started making a lot of money.My salary was peanuts to her.Then suddenly I noticed that she was becoming too excited with her new found fume.She suddenly became disrespectful.She used to tell me off in front of my friends.She stopped doing house chores and doing my laundry.
At first when she started her business, she would go on her business trips for a week but now she started going for a month and some times even for 6-weeks and she would threaten divorce whenever I questioned her as to why she had taken long to come back from her business trip.
Things got worse when I stopped work.The owner of the school where I was working died and his children failed to run the school, so the school was shut.
Thandiwe and I had to move from the school house to NIPA flats. Thandiwe paid rentals for the new flat.
She became so unruly.She told” me she wasn’t ready to feed a grown up man.” She started spending nights out.She would come back the next day looking fresh.
I continued to stay with her because I did not have any place to go to.Then I started hearing rumors, that she was cheating on me with a Nigerian national.When I asked her about the rumours, she confessed that it was true and that she no longer wanted me in her life.She told me I was not man enough as I was a broke man who depended on women for survival.
I was shocked.I felt like hitting her hard but I managed to control my temper.
I left our house and went to Sikanze police camp to watch a soccer match involving Nhwazi vs Konkola Blades.
I was still hurt inside.I could not understand her behavior after all I did for her.
When I got home after the match, I found my things at the doorstep of our house and the door was locked.It was embarrassing. Neighbours came out of their houses to see what was going on.I could hear people making fun of the whole situation.
I just got my things and went to my Uncle’s place in Lilanda. I walked from NIPA to Lilanda.
When I reached Lilanda I explained everything to my uncle and the next day my uncle summoned Thandiwe and her relatives.
Surprisingly Thandiwe and her relatives came to the meeting with K4000 lobola I had paid.We were told that the marriage was over.
I begged Thandiwe to rescind her decision.I begged her to stay with me but all in vain.I loved Thandiwe so much, She was the first woman I dated and subsequently married.
I was heartbroken.I cried like a small baby but it’s like she had already made up her mind.
I only stayed with my uncle in Lilanda for a week.He was a council retiree and he was looking after more than 7 orphans and dependents and his house was small.
I managed to find a room for k150 in Chibolya. I started applying for jobs but the response was not favourable. My neighbour Amos was a bus driver so, one day he asked me to be his bus conductor for a day as his conductor was not feeling ok that day.I accepted his offer and that’s how I became a conductor and sometimes i used to work as a luggage loader at intercity bus terminus.I started making a bit of money and eventually I forgot about Thandiwe.
Two-years passed without hearing from her.Then one day in 2008, we met at intercity bus terminus when she was coming from south Africa.She came out of the bus together with a light skinned guy.She was looking very attractive and happy.I could tell the guy she was with was her boyfriend.They looked beautiful together.
I then approached them and offered to carry their luggage.well that was my Job. Thandiwe ignored me, I could tell that she did not want her man to know about us.I could tell that my presence made her feel uncomfortable.She was now high class.I was not comfortable either. I was dirty and tidy and I had a lot of beards.
she did not greet or say a word to me.There was a red Jaguar waiting for them just near Juldan motor ways offices at intercity.Her man instructed me to take the luggage to the parked car.After this was done, they jumped in the car and speed off.
I felt bad that day.I still loved Thandiwe. I could not understand why she betrayed me.I continued working as a bus conductor and as a luggage boy.
One day in 2010, while transporting passengers from Chelstone to Town I was invited to church by one of the passengers.It happened that It was my birthday and at night when we were about to knock off the driver and I offered the passengers a free ride.The passengers were happy and a woman called Lucy invited me to her church at CHRIST EMBASSY at YMCA in chilumbulu road.
I did not want to disappoint her so I went to her church the next morning.I was welcomed at church and that’s how I joined the Christ Embassy Church.I continued going to church and after a month, there was an announcement in church for all those willing to join the Zambia Police Service.We were told to see one of the senior elders.After the church service Lucy and i went to see the church elder.He told us to give him both our academic and professional documents.
Lucy had his number, so that same week we gave him our documents.Lucy and I became best friends and through her help I moved to Kabwata where she helped me rent an inside bedroom.I stopped being a bus conductor and concentrated on my church work.
About a month after I applied to join the Police service, a break through happened in my life.The names were published in the newspapers and Lucy and i were selected to go for trainings at Lilayi Police Training College.
We went for trainings for a year and after the pass out I was posted to Force headquarters while Lucy went to work at Central police.
I married Lucy a year after our pass out.I owe her my life.I started raising up fast in ranks because of my trade.I had a diploma in Zica.
When Sata became president, I was pomoted and sent to work in foreign mission in Russia where I was for two years.
When President Lungu become president, I was recalled and promoted to a senior security position.
Lucy and I are still together and we have 2 kids together.She has been so supportive.
I have decided to share my story because last week during the preparation of the inauguration ceremony ,there were a group of prisoners who were cleaning the surrounding at heroes stadium. Thandiwe was one of the prisoners.I recognized her and went to greet her.She was puzzled and confused when she saw me.I was dressed in a suit.She did not understand why Police men and Police women were saluting at me.I went straight to where she was cleaning and said hi and left.I don’t know what landed her in prison but whatever it is, that’s her own baby to nurse.
Read Thandiwe’s response by clicking here…..