I’m a freshman in University, should I date so soon?

Filed under: Advise Corner,Special Comments |

By Jefferson Kapasa

University days will probably be among the best days of your life, the experience of the first lecture as a freshman is tattooed on your memory.
If you are a guy you will probably keep a catalogue of the prettiest girls you see in your first week of campus, of course not written anywhere.
University life presents to you a new set of challenges if not carefully handled could topple your dream?
Here are a few questions you need to answer before you jump into the roller coaster of dating.
1. Why do I really want to date?
Varsity life has this hype about dating but why shouldn’t you do it when everybody else is?
Do you want to date because you are lonely? Then just find yourself a new hobby to keep you busy because you might just crash and I believe you don’t want to.
Or maybe you want to satisfy the status-quo, are you? I guess no. It is important to understand why you want to start dating so that you don’t sabotage your academic goals and plans because your number one business on campus is school.
2. Am I mature enough to handle an emotional heartache?
If you are a lady you’ve probably heard that women are emotional beings but here is a cool truth guys are emotional too!
Most people believe that no one knows what comes tomorrow or that nothing lasts forever. This could be true with dating.
After becoming emotionally attached and the other party decides to just call it quits. What do you do? Imagine you have an exam the following day to cram for? The outcome could be catastrophic if you weren’t prepared emotionally. Have a genuine personal self-assessment of your emotional maturity because your inability to handle rejection from somebody you are emotionally attached to could cost you your studies.
3. How good I’m at time and money management.
You are probably wondering what money and time have to do with dating; these two probably determine the future of a brooding companionship. Imagine the pressure you face when your date’s birthday is around the corner and your pocket is running out. Nobody wants to disappoint their date but in the process you strain yourself financially because you will have to split the money between your needs and the other party’s luxuries. You might end up spending more than usual and these might force you to start borrowing from friends in a case your pocket money completely runs out.
Time is also something you will spend: going out for movies, eating out, taking walks among others will obviously be the primary focus area of your dates. These activities might be competing with your studies. Do you have what it takes to dedicate time to both your studies and dating?
Genuinely answer these questions above before making a choice, you can also ask parents and other mature people to help you evaluate yourself because a good thing might just turn out to be a bad thing.
For me I have focused on investing in myself in four areas of my life in my varsity years:
1. My relationship with God
2. My relationship with people
3. My career
4. On being a better manager of financial resources.
Back to the photo that’s Miriam, a friend we paused for this photo during our production assignment last academic year. November marks the beginning of my fourth year in varsity and I have not dated before. Maybe I ll write a part two as to why.


3 Responses to I’m a freshman in University, should I date so soon?

  1. Thank you, Zambian eye

    November 1, 2017 at 11:01 am

  2. You have hit the nail on the head bro. The prudent will heed to your wise piece of advice which is penny free.

    November 11, 2017 at 6:54 pm

  3. Iwe Chikala just concentrate on what you are going there for.

    Mumbi Phiri
    November 12, 2017 at 11:41 am

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