Catholic Priests and nuns must start having sex – Ex-UPND Vice president

Filed under: Breaking News,Lifestyle & Fashion,Politics |

Former UPND Vice president Dr Canisius Banda has recommended that Catholic Church Priests and Nuns must start having sex if they have not started.


In a post titled On Achieves [The Inspirational and Illustrative Case of Talent, its Expression and Ambition] below, Dr. Banda who talks about his life also reveals that he has had girlfriends from all human race.


“Catholic priests and nuns must start having sex […not necessarily with each other], if they haven’t started yet,” he recommends.


He starts by talking about politics:



…here below are some of the personalities that belong to the select college of presidents Zambia has had over the years […citizens with influence]. This is only a matter of record and history.


You see, one of the three below was a vendor at Old Ngoma Market in Mandevu Compound, and is a son of a spraypainter.

His father lies forgotten in an unmarked grave at Chingwere Cemetery.


He sold cigarettes.

…maybe even smoked one or two. Must have been Guards!


He now has four educational degrees, speaks Japanese, has met and received personal encouragement from William [Bill]Jefferson Clinton, and he loves children and women.


He has had girl friends from all the human races. Yes, including Mongoloids.


He is a University lecturer.


And has 17 cats that love him.

…one is called Jupiter and another Peace.


He readily smiles.

…and loves to sing. His hit song entitled ‘Hakainde Cinamubaba’ will be out soon. Check your nearest Sounds Investments outlets.




Sishuwa Sishuwa, a Rhodes Scholar and University lecturer, is one of his sons.


He drinks Chibuku.

…and reads Simon Kapwepwe [Afrika Twasebana], Kenneth Kaunda [Letter To My Children], Steve Biko, Rhonda Byrne, Jack Higgins, Alexandre Dumas, Jeffrey Sachs, The Koran and Frederich Nietsche amongst others.


…he has been to the Wailing Wall and the ‘tomb’ of Jesus in Jerusalem; walked on the Great Wall and had coffee on the Table Mountain.


He has spoken at the UN.


Among his favorite movies are Remember the Titans, A Bronx Tale and Shawshank Redemption.


He thinks Barack Obama is a miracle.


He has great respect for Tikwiza Theatre [Waiting for Sanctions], Robert De Niro and supports Power Dynamos. He thinks Alex Chola is perhaps the most talented and skillful player Zambia has ever produced.


He listens to Ephraim, Reuben, Innocent, Kings, Smokey Hangaala, Millie Jackson and Bryan Adams.


Remember Smokey’s Dyna? Great ballad I tell you. Goes well with a tin in the hand.


He cries at the poverty of others. Helping others is his calling.


He recommends that Catholic priests and nuns must start having sex […not necessarily with each other], if they haven’t started yet.


He loves to laugh.

…he has never stolen before; except people’s hearts…


He is Catholic, baptised at Charles Lwanga Parish in Matero.


He graduated with honors from marriage and is single but unavailable.


Like you, he is a Pilgrim, a vessel of God.

…and his fascinating journey continues!

He understands life.


Okay now, having had our laugh, take his hand.

And Godspeed, Pilgrim!


Nayenda ine.


22 Responses to Catholic Priests and nuns must start having sex – Ex-UPND Vice president

  1. Is Banda a Catholic? Its only after I know this that I can comment. The Ngoni king also said something on the same lines in defence of Milingo

    Mayor of Cape Town
    January 17, 2017 at 11:28 pm

  2. Dr C. Banda is a mad man.

    John kabengele
    January 18, 2017 at 1:00 am

  3. One of HH’s liabilities. Wonder why he has been ‘losing’ elections? Look no further

    January 18, 2017 at 3:47 am

  4. Don’t be surprised if you found him at a dump site.
    But he knows what he is talking about.I’m sure he has slept with a nun before – pretty sure and that’s what has confused him.

    January 18, 2017 at 4:20 am

  5. Thats how they start running mad.wait and see where he is going.

    January 18, 2017 at 5:12 am

  6. My prayer is to see a healthier zambia

    January 18, 2017 at 5:45 am

  7. Something seriously wrong with this man……

    January 18, 2017 at 6:36 am

  8. Canisius Banda is old enough to have been UNIP and MMD ofcourse UPND but is now strongly PF. Of all these, why is his former UPND membership the most memorable? I smell a rotten rat in our journalism.

    Paul N.
    January 18, 2017 at 7:01 am

    • Absolutely @Paul N. Why the UPND Zambian Eye? Because I remember when I was a Civil Servant under UNIP, everyone was not only expected but was forced to buy a UNIP card thereby making all Civil Servants of the time members of UNIP. I strongly believe Dr Banda must have worked under UNIP? Or indeed, why didn’t your story say former UTH Spokesman Dr Canisius Banda…..bla, bla, bla, but you deliberately chose to use UPND! What bad reporting!

      January 18, 2017 at 12:28 pm

  9. Banda is a huge traitor. Please avoid hate no matter what otherwise no one will trust you anymore. You have shown us how loose you are. Not worthy being a leader, just a big joker. You will die in poverty despite all the education you have. Yes madness is trailing you watch out soon or later them will start carrying sacks.

    January 18, 2017 at 7:02 am

  10. Poetry and politics do not match……no wonder!!!1

    January 18, 2017 at 7:29 am

  11. He is not mad he is just saying the truth you can not pretend with sex it is the sweetest game on earth.

    January 18, 2017 at 9:38 am


    valentine chipasha
    January 18, 2017 at 9:50 am

  13. Banda is a good guy its just that hh wanted to end his career its a good thing he decided to distance himself from those two selfish guys.Band a is a genius.

    January 18, 2017 at 11:48 am

  14. These Catholic Priests and Nuns are busy exchanging pornographic materials among themselves .Most people don’t know this but it is happening. They also engage in sex secretly as one Nun once said:First and foremost I am a woman secondly am a Nun finally a human being with feelings.

    January 18, 2017 at 12:51 pm

  15. chilepule baby!

    January 18, 2017 at 3:29 pm

  16. This id.iot is still around? Damn tra.itor!

    juicyyy vagina
    January 18, 2017 at 4:34 pm

  17. ba banda landeniko fimbi

    January 18, 2017 at 5:15 pm

  18. Lamentations of Dr Canisius Banda! Move on doc before the world leaves you behind for you have been whining for too long, everybody knows that life’s journey is not easy and inspiration goes with perspiration. Thus before you lose it all pick yourself up and start all over again. Your writings exalted as genius by some are equally esoteric!

    January 18, 2017 at 10:01 pm


    January 18, 2017 at 10:32 pm

  20. Ubushilu tabukonkosha

    Dodoma Daresalaam Dansania
    January 19, 2017 at 9:12 am

  21. Canisius Banda, really of all the things you just think of Sex of the priests and Nuns? Take your philosophical thinking which is not important elsewhere not here. You have outlived your usefulness just continue teaching drama or is it literature in Chewa at the University. Yes one can be educated but you cant take out from him madness . Nzelu zo bema petrol muleke!!!!

    katuba old boys
    January 19, 2017 at 1:38 pm

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